In my relationships after thinking about it in class I came to what I thought was a somewhat funny conclusion: in my friendships and close relationships I am a green cape person and try to do good things and make the relationships stronger however with my family I tend to be a red cape person and try to fix problems after they have happened and something bad has already occurred. A specific relationship I will focus on for this blog is my relationship with my friend from high school. In this friendship, I displayed a green cape more often then a red cape because I would try to promote goodness in the relationship between us. Examples of promoting goodness in this friendship was that I would give them small gifts such as candy and mugs, I would also give them presents on every little holiday and birthday cards to help strengthen the relationship. As well, I would listen to their problems with other people, we would communicate openly, spend time together going out to the movie’s every other week, go hiking, go out to eat, and spending time together a lot. We also are honest with each other and do things we both want to do. We also will go and just drive around sight seeing houses in the rich neighborhoods or looking at Christmas lights. All of these behaviors are really small actions but we do them when we are happy and they help to bring us closer and build our friendship. We never really argue or fight and so have not had to use red cape behaviors in this relationship.
This is a very positive relationship, but of course every relationship and friendship can be improved. In class we discussed savoring, gratitude and variety, these can be incorporated into my friendship; for savoring, I could incorporate this into my friendship by being consciously aware and grateful for the time we spend together. Rather then just hanging out and not thinking about the time we spend together, I can appreciate the small things we do together that may go unnoticed to try and savor them. To improve the friendship I could also use gratitude by appreciating the things that they do for me without me asking even if they are very small. Examples would be being grateful for a ride home, or holding on to my secrets or paying for my movie ticket. Finally I could incorporate variety by us trying new activities together to keep having new experiences together rather then possibly becoming bored in the routine of our friendship even though I personally enjoy routine. These green cape activities would be beneficial for the relationship because all of them would help for me to appreciate the friendship even more and not take it for granted and adjust to it similarly to fighting off the effect of the hedonic treadmill.
Lastly, in our interviews with students on campus some students mentioned reciprocity, providing emotional support, a willingness to work through difficulties and providing emotional support and validation. I personally feel like I do incorporate these behaviors into my friendship and relationships however I could incorporate validation more into my friendship. The reason for this is, though I try to be understanding at times I can catch myself being overly analytical and attempting to diagnose my friends problems rather than fully validating my friends feelings like I should. By validating my friends feelings more, which is a red cape behavior it could help to strengthen the friendship more. I believe it would work in my friendship because everyone wants to feel validated and to provide validation to them would help them feel good resulting in a better friendship.
andrews Christpherson's Happiness Blog 
It’s interesting that you tend to use both capes for different relationships. It sounds like you have a very good friend, one that reminds me of my own good friend. I also appreciate the way you explained the various activities you and your friend do together like going to the movies or hiking and what you can do to improve your already good friendship, like paying for your ticket or being grateful for a ride home. You also mentioned that validation is a red cape behavior; why do you think that is, or can it be turned into more of a green cape behavior in your opinion?
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I think validation could be both a green cape behavior or red cape behavior, but I know for the people in my life validation tends to be used after some one is feeling invalidated and needs some emotional support. However if validation was used as a green cape behavior more often then maybe it would not reach the point where they need to feel validated through a red cape behavior since could make them feel good and validated prior to feeling sad.
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I enjoyed reading your blog Andrew. What I liked in particular is what you know you need to work on with your friendship. It is nice sometimes when people just listen instead of trying to fix the problem. It’s good when people are aware of the things that they need more help with, sometimes we don’t always admit it either, so thumbs up. How do you plan on implementing validation in your friendship?
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For the relationships in my life I could implement validation because i know my friends insecurities from sharing we have done and due to this, I can try to make sure they feel secure and validated about those insecurities that they have. I can talk to them and encourage them and tell them about how much I care about them and that they are a good person to help them feel validation.
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